I’m sat cuddled up on the sofa, trying desperately to get warm, icy fingers slowly typing, not quite keeping up with my anxious thoughts, while Zac sits next to me, feet up on the table, arms crossed, shouting at Hawthorn (they’re not playing so well).
I woke up feeling a little under the weather. The start of a cold, no doubt.
Thick headed and dizzy, I was pleased when Mama G swung by for her morning cuppa and the three of us sat at our new table putting the world to rights over home baked apple and cinnamon muffins and shop bought biscuits.
I feel drained. Exhausted at the thought of putting the washing away, or going back out to the shops, but Zac has been incredibly understanding and his arms are always open for snuggles.
Well…when Hawthorn’s not playing, at least.
I had the first two days of the week off this week.
A belated weekend and I was determined to spend it well, with a little r&r and some serious girl time with Steffy.
We’d had our usual Sunday night, with the added bonus of Stef sleeping over meaning when it was Zac’s bed time, we didn’t have to kick her out.
As she left we made hasty plans for the following day, a combination of errands and hangs, kicking off with a brand new tattoo for Stef.
Stef rocked up at our place in her ‘weekend car’; won in a family bet, the silver MG was a noisy thing, but there was something special getting from a to b in the little convertible.
As the sun began to shine, we took the top down and let our hair get matted in the breeze.
Despite being the heart of winter, it was almost a balmy day and we enjoyed the sunshine while alternating between inane gossip and deep and meaningful conversations.
I was home in time to be told to ‘buzz off‘ and watch while Mama G and Stef took our new dining room table upstairs – a gift from Mama G, who’d found the table online for nothing and snatched it up for us.
A dining table was the last thing we needed to complete our little nest and I’ve loved being able to sit somewhere and eat.
It was the kind of day that blows out the cobwebs, lets you put things in to perspective a little and reminded me I’m not alone, I can get better and my anxiety won’t get the better of me.
Friends who don’t judge, who are there for a long time not just a good time, who bully you in to buying magnesium and salt lamps and who fill their hugs goodbye with genuine care and compassion are like gold dust, and I’m so lucky to have mine.
Naturally it’s always only a matter of time before I do or say something stupid, and despite a classic this morning, when looking at pictures of cats that are fluffy like poodles (“But they haven’t actually crossed them with a poodle have they, like, they can’t actually do that, right?”), it was a brain blunder at work that won.
We have those office chairs at work that have wheels on the bottom, you can scoot around, and I’m enough of an adult now that I don’t constantly spin around and around in circles.
I was sat in one of the top desks meaning I could push my chair to the EFTPOS machine and then scoot back to the desk in one graceful swoosh. As I was swooshing around, I said to Nick…
“These are so great, aren’t they? I want one of these to get around all the time, chairs with wheels, you know…of wheelchairs, they’ve been invented. Don’t worry. Wheelchairs”
I watched as Nick’s eyes slowly closed and his head dropped.
His shoulders started to move up and down before he lost composure and let out the laughter he wasn’t really trying to mask.
“The words just come out, don’t they?”
“I immediately regretted externalising that train of thought.”
My customers looked on slightly bemused, before I asked them if they’d heard what I’d said. They hadn’t and before I’d had chance to explain, Nick chimed in with a ‘don’t worry, it was just Becky being…Becky’.