It’s been a pretty turbulent week, Lydia has been keeping me sane (and awake) in the afternoon’s after holiday programme and was much needed company over the weekend.
The first few weeks back to teaching are always draining.
It takes a few lessons to get your eye back in and you forget how much standing in the water for 4 hours can take out of you.
My awkward comes two fold this week.
I don’t want to say that I’m known for saying stupid things, but I tend to speak first, think later and while most people can argue that context makes all the difference, even out of context I sound like a tit.
There’s been something of a running joke this week that I’m a cannibal.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I think I could kill a man. Not necessarily in cold blood, but if I had to, I think I could do it, and what’s worse I don’t think it would bother me as much as it should.
We were having this discussion, I thought perfectly reasonably, until I saw the mock horror on Lydia’s face and Louisa chimed in that she sleeps with one eye open.
The next day, I was being teased about it again, as I was thinking about food.
My response to being accused of being capable of murder?
“I could really go for a steak right now actually, a really juicy one, little bit of blood. Mmmm.”
Murder suddenly escalated to cannibalism.
The final nail in the coffin for me was this morning as I was drinking a can of pineapple juice; I turned to Megan and said that I liked pineapple juice because it made your insides taste nice.
We all know what I meant, but I’m struggling to live down that I might just kill someone.
My second awkward is a classic case of swimming costume splitting mid shift.
Down my arse crack.
Thankfully my rash vest was long enough to spare my blushes.
I’ve been wearing my leopard print bikini bottoms underneath until I can fork out for a new cossie.
I don’t always pat myself on the back, or blow my own trumpet. Not with the things I really care about.
I don’t think I’m a great teacher, I’m still learning, I’ll always still be learning. I’m pretty certain I’m good, but I’m never sure if I’m ‘great’.
Teaching is hard.
Even if you take away the fact you’re probably going to be wet for at least 2 hours a shift, you have such a high duty of care for these children. I love swimming, I’ve always felt at home in the water, but I’ve always had a healthy respect for it.
Even the strongest swimmers can get into trouble.
You have all this knowledge, my head is full of the technicalities of swimming, the jargon, the practices and sometimes it just doesn’t work. You’re constantly adapting what you know to suit the children in front of you, and while telling one group of kids to swim like a dolphin might work, there’s another group of kids who won’t get it until you tell them to wiggle like a worm, or swim like a mermaid.
My head is full of years of practice and experience and every shift there’s still a kid that comes along and completely stumps you.
Some days you feel like you’re really getting somewhere, but more often than not, I leave wishing I done something differently, or had more time or just been ‘better’. There’s always something.
This week I had some incredible feedback from the parents of my kids for holiday programme.
They said I was ‘amazing’.
One Mum even asked if I was training to be a teacher, and when I said I’d considered it before, she said I should.
Besides from being an incredible ego boost, it’s so nice to be recognised for hard work, and for all those things I’m trying to pull together to be coming across.